She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
