remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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