Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize