I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
