I want to walk on stilts...naked
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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