I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize