Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
