Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
