how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
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They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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