It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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