More tranny stories later!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
