Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
