Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
this boner is exhausting
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
being pregnant is like rehab
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
