everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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