I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
