I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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