You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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