I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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