I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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