Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize