If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize