Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
