Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize