we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I understand Curling. That high.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
