If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
