Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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