At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
