dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
