So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
