In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
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Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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