It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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