just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
