i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
