I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
