Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize