would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
