new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We smell like vodka and hangover
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