I hate your face
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
