He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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