it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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