20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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