I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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