Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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