Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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