it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
