he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
