he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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