K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
