grandma shit on top of the toilet
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
