this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
