I want to have your abortion
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
