Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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