why didn't you poke me back
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
