I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
