she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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