The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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