well he's currently spooning the coffee table
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
