I didn't shave. On purpose
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
