I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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