I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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