Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
honey bunches of taint.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
