That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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