How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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