Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
