he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
