I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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