My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
